Men urged to seek psychological support amid rising pressures

KAMPALA - Men have been urged to break away from stereotypes that hinder them from expressing their emotions and feelings. 

The call was made by James Magara, the executive director of Jubilee Dental Clinics, at the recent Kyooto Fireside Conversation under the theme: Who is a real man? The challenges of being a young man today.

“Real men must learn to express emotions or risk breaking under silent pressure,” Magara told over 500 students who attended the event at Makerere University on Saturday (April 26). 

Kyooto Fireside Conversations are held every two weeks. Magara said in many African societies, cultural expectations have boxed men into rigid definitions of masculinity. 

Magara said he has observed that society expects a man to be tough, stoic and unshakable — crying or showing emotion is seen as weakness. 

He warned that today, that outdated mindset is causing more harm than good. The event was organised under the Emerging Leaders Programme (ELP). 

Launched 18 months ago, ELP is a national life skills capacity-building and behavioural change initiative targeting students at Uganda’s universities. 

It is currently in the pilot phase at Makerere University, pending expansion to other universities. 

The programme seeks to bring back values and character development into the country’s education system, which extols knowledge and skills. 



The initiative is implementing a campaign under four pillars: Sexually fortified, addiction free, financially fortified and education focus (SAFE), through a collaboration between Makerere University, Life Ministry Uganda, Global Leadership Summit and likeminded stakeholders for growth and impact. 

ELP is an initiative of the First Lady, Mrs Janet Museveni.

Cultural roots 

Drawing from examples, Magara said among the Bagisu, becoming a man is a public ritual. A boy is only considered a man after enduring circumcision ceremonies without flinching. 

Similarly, in Maasai culture, a young man proves his worth by killing a lion alone. He added that these rites emphasised physical bravery, but they also planted the dangerous idea that pain should be endured in silence. 

“In the past, it made sense,” Magara said. “Our forefathers prepared boys for a hard life. But today’s world demands different strengths, and emotional intelligence is now key to survival,” he explained.

Real men cry 

In an interaction with students, Magara asked the question: how should men be in hard times? Some students insisted that men are dominators, and so they should not even think about crying or asking for help. 

However, others believed that it is normal for one to cry or seek help “I even want to cry now,” one of the students said. Magara explained that suppressing emotions does not erase them; it simply buries them deeper. 

“Emotions do not disappear. They pile up and can explode in ugly ways — anger, depression, violence, or withdrawal,” he warned. 

He shared the remarkable example of Princess Diana. When Princess Diana died, Britain experienced a rare national outpouring of grief. During the early hours of August 31 1997, Diana, the Princess of Wales, died from injuries sustained earlier that night in a car crash in the Pont de l’Alma tunnel in Paris, France. 

Dodi Fayed, Diana’s partner and the driver of the Mercedes-Benz W140, Henri Paul, were found dead inside the car.

“For weeks after, psychologists reported fewer patients. People had cried for Princess Diana and even for other people they had earlier lost. They had expressed themselves. It helped heal a nation,” Magara said. 

He said men must be taught that crying is not weakness — it is a healthy release and a crucial part of mental wellness. 

“If you don’t do things the way you were created to do them, you start breaking down — biologically, culturally and in character,” he said.

Magara (left) receiving a gift of a portrait from Makerere guild president Churchill Ssentamu and another participant at the Kyooto fireside conversation at Makerere University on Saturday. (Courtesy Photo)

The marriage struggle 

In marriage, the emotional gap is even more visible, Magara explained, “Ladies are created to receive love. Men were made to receive respect. When either is missing, trouble starts.” 

Today’s empowered women seek emotional connection, but many men, raised to suppress feelings, struggle to meet this need. 

“It’s dangerous when a man feels disrespected — just as a woman feels wounded without love,” he said. 

Hellen Niwasiima, one of the discussants, said many young men today have failed to adapt to changing gender roles. 

“They must be taught emotional self-control and family responsibility,” she urged. Tricia Bumanzi added that the modern woman expects a man who is respectful, self-controlled and emotionally available — not a stone-faced figurehead.

Breaking the cycle 

Whereas it is seen as seeking support, some traditionalists still insist that men should remain distinct from women by hiding their emotions. 

“If the protector cries, who will protect?” one of the students asked. “A man must dominate, not display weakness,” another student said. 

ELP is an initiative of the First Lady, Mrs Janet Museveni. (Courtesy Photo)

Experts like Magara insist that such thinking is dangerous in today’s world. He added that real leadership today requires vulnerability, emotional balance and psychological resilience. He advised that men must be encouraged to seek therapy, open up about their struggles, and build stronger mental health. 

“It is not shameful. It is necessary. Strong men know when to ask for help,” Magara advised.

Critical statistics informing ELP intervention 

A recent study quoted by ELP disclosed that of students who had ever had sexual intercourse, 78% were at the median age and had their first sexual intercourse at 19 years, while 73% of students were in temporary relationships. 

Among those in temporary relationships, 71% had sexual intercourse with their partner. Among sexually active students, the percentage of those who had sex with a non-regular partner in the 12 months preceding the survey was 79%. 

Among sexually active students, condom use at last sexual intercourse was 51%. The prevalence of sex with more than one partner among sexually active students was put at 24% in 2016. 

It added that around 30% of students who start university education dropped out in 2017.